You know, like a boshing machine.

So, I recently got really into Monopoly. It's seriously a big problem. Actually, it's been a little more than recently. I've been into Monopoly since my ex Jon gave me this laptop. It's been really hard to stop. I haven't actually.
It's actually kind of really ridiculous. My addiction to Monopoly is too severe for me to properly function at times. If you've ever played Monopoly: Here & Now on your computer, you know that Jet Airplane always wins, unless you're Jet Airplane, then you suck ass at Monopoly. But Jet Airplane, Hybrid Car, and Running Shoe are some of the most evil competitors in the world. I want to murder Jet Airplane. He's my sworn enemy. When another player bankrupts Jet Airplane, I get so mad that I want to quit because if I won, it wouldn't even be worth it anymore. I get real into Monopoly though. Just ask Jon. I nearly killed him one time after he beat me in the Electronic Banking version. Kind of like that time I tackled Matt because he beat me at Egyptian Rat Screw. I swear I'm not that competitive, I just don't think I should ever lose.
Life is a pretty good board game too. I love how you can either go to college or just jump into the workforce. It really just shows exactly what real life is like because you can make really in-depth choices like that. Like when you hit that stop sign to get married to the peg that looks like you but pink. And I love when you don't buy hurricane insurance, but then you actually get hit by a hurricane. I swear you only get hit by a hurricane without insurance. If you buy it, at the end of the game you're just like "Why did I waste my money on this crap! I could've had 5 million dollars instead of 4.99 million!" I like that too. Everyone ends up being pretty much a millionaire.

REALLY good board game stories come from Scattergories though. Like this time a friend of mine was playing, and she's just really bad at cheating, so when the category was "household appliances," she cleverly used the common "boshing machine." Surprisingly, no one had heard of a boshing machine before. When asked about it, she clearly explained, "You know, like a boshing machine." She didn't win. Another time, Matt and I were playing Scattergories with our friend Katie Seymour. You know, the one everyone throws up on. She excitedly screamed her answer "Sweetums" at us for the category "Terms of measurement" claiming the category was actually "Terms of endearment." I had never been so grateful to be literate. Not being would make board games like that really hard.


When I typed "boshing machine" into google, it gave me this picture of kittens in a washing machine. You're welcome.

~Not-Matt