You don't even know us

I’m Cris, and I am not:

1. Chinese.

2. An alcoholic

3. A ghost

4. Matt White

5. Straight

6. In it to win it. I lied. I am

7. A liar all the time

8. Hideously ugly

9. The son of anyone who’s NOT Miss Swan

10. Passing up a chance to throw up on Katie Seymour

11. Your friend

12. Currently choking

13. A believer in unicorns

14. Closed-minded

15. A girl

16. Yet a woman

17. Showing you my teeth.

18. A professional burglar

19. Fat.

I'm Matt and I am not:

1) A girl

2) A dolphin

3) Photogenic

4) Coulrophobic

5) Norwegian

6) A squib

7) One of those things that you see in a store and think you want.

8) Cris Garrish

9) A caliph

10) Good at speaking French

11) A popsicle

12) Kidding

13) Throwing up currently. Not even on Katie Seymour

14) Ambidextrous

15) Covered in anything of or pertaining to horse radish

16) From Wisconsin

17) Able to spell that volcano that erupted in Iceland

18) Able to cope with not being Kristen Wiig

19) Lady GaGa. No matter how hard I try.

-Swan Jr. and Bjork