1) Eat lollipops and drool all over your history book.
2) Be half Asian, extra points for tropical.
3) Be a hipster.
4) Suck the spit out of your reed.
5) Throw up on Katie Seymour.
6) Be post-throw up Katie Seymour.
7) Lose a bet and dress up as fairies.
8) Get a mohawk.
9) Have grown-up braces.
10) Be a member of math club.
11) Eat three bowls of macaroni everyday, preferably challenging mac.
12) Click your tongue a lot.
13) Be photogenic in all candid photos.
14) Be Rusty from The Vacation.
15) Be Lady GaGa.
16) Walk loudly with your toes pointed inward.
17) Scream everything you say.
18) Have sex with strangers.
19) Wear bunny costumes.
20) Be a girl with a mustache (aka Katie Seymour)
21) Date an ugly person.
22) Breathe only through your mouth.
23) Be friends with Kara Molesworth and learn her facial expressions.
24) Be popular.
25) Feel your teeth while talking to someone and looking into their eyes.
26) Bathe with the pigs.
27) Sing about Iceland.
28) Use "snarf" in everyday conversation.
29) Talk for five minutes without taking any breaths.
30) Do yoga naked in public places.
31) Have chronic diarrhea.
32) Eat excess amounts of cheese curls without licking your fingers and be OCD about it.
33) Eat a spoonful of cinnamon.
34) Fall down the same hill three times in the snow.
35) Keep chasing pavements.
36) Be a diva.
37) Do body rolls.
38) Wear tight pants.
39) End all -ing verbs with -een. As in, "she went shopeen."
40) Sing along at live musical productions.
41) Have as many chins as Bridget Nolan. The number fluctuates.
42) Slam your head into a water fountain.
43) Stalk small children.
44) Carry around a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign at all times.
45) Have eleven cats.
46) Speak Spanish only to people who speak English and say you don't speak Spanish.
47) Make up your own language.
48) Break your own arms and maybe someone else's.
49) Wear a homecoming dress made of hardened ketchup.
50) Eat Spongebob's sundaes.
And voila.
~Swan Jr. and Bjork
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